What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My wife always forces me to suck my bulls dick and balls and even Lick his cum from her face and tits and they even humiliate me very badly plus she always talks about big Dicks everywhere everytime and show me pics of huge cocks what should I do ?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why do Muslims invade Western society?

What do you mean son?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What misfortune led to an important discovery?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Should parents force their kids to go to school when they are sick?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”